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1.
grey 03:28
Days weeks months years You said you love me but you don’t know why you’re still here You can’t say the words if you don’t really know what you want I know what I want and I’m doubling down you can’t say the words this time you’ll find I already know (F,Am) time filler dream killer don’t wanna waste my time don’t wanna waste my life again time filler dream killer what’s done is done (Pluck 1/ strum 1) (F/release Am) ,F, Am7, Am, Am7) My whole world turns grey and it fades to black time to walk away Never looking back (x2) So long… what’s wrong?! I don’t know how to cope so I just write another song can’t sing the words even if you know and I know, I know, I know I never thought this would end You can’t say the words but I know it’s time for me to go I know, I know don’t wanna feel this again don’t wanna feel this again time filler dream killer don’t wanna waste my time don’t wanna waste my life again time filler dream killer what’s done is done My whole world turns grey and then it fades to black time to walk away Never looking back (x2) Never looking back Never looking back
2.
oblivion 02:30
Em B C D (& Am7) (FP) Lost in the dark everything’s fine don’t know where I am and I lost my sense of time been fallin, fallin, fallin they say every ends a new beginning (Pluck) walked through heaven maybe seven through each hell, all eleven (X2) (strum) gonna make it, gonna make it through the gonna make it through the gonna make it make it through the gonna make it through the make it through the day (FP) make it through the day been fallin, fallin, fallin fallin, fallin, fallin i move to and through oblivion they say every end’s a new beginning (Pluck) walked through heaven maybe seven through each hell, all eleven got it got it I can do it I know I can make it(I can make it) through it (strum) gonna make it, gonna make it through the gonna make it through the gonna make it make it through the gonna make it through the make it through the day (pluck) It’s OK, give yourself a chance, they can’t hold a supernova with their hands (x2) (strum) gonna make it, gonna make it through the gonna make it through the gonna make it make it through the gonna make it through the make it through the night (FP) make it through the night
3.
preservation 03:08
Please don’t take it personally got my hands full with myself just trying to nurse me back to health please don’t take it personally really need to soothe myself dont wanna hurt anyone else it seems I have no sense of self preservation x2 Wanna run away wanna wanna hide my face Wanna run away not as easy as it seems doesn’t go away no matter how far my legs carry me I try to hide away but I find you in my dreams I find you in my dreams x2 I’m trying to find my sense of self preservation. X2 Please don’t take it personally got my hands full with myself just trying to nurse me back to health I’m trying to find my sense of self preservation x4
4.
D# Gm F Dm (FP) I’m OK until I’m not I tend to offer all I’ve got but it’s too much too much, too much so I just spend my time alone (Strum) when did I outgrow my old friends? this can’t be how these stories end but it’s too much, too much, too much these days nothing feels like home These old lakes of warm ice tea offer a familiarity not enough to draw me willingly into this abyss (FP) these old lakes of warm ice tea offer a familiarity never thought I’d be here I never thought it’d be like this (FP) I’m OK until I’m not I tend to offer all I’ve got but it’s too much too much, too much so I just spend my time alone (strum) how did things end up this way? I guess there’s nothing left to say cause it’s too much too much, too much sometimes I’m better on my own I’m alone by design in this fortress of mine you can find me in space if you’re an astronaut searching for my head in the clouds I have dreams I hope to see my whole life I’ve longed to be loved for who I am not some short lived novelty (FP) just like anyone else just like anyone else but I love myself I know I’ll find my way somehow for now I think I need time alone (Strum) I’m OK until I’m not I tend to offer all I’ve got but it’s too much too much, too much so I just spend my time alone (FP) how did things end up this way? I guess there’s nothing left to say because it’s too much too much, too much these days nothing feels like home (Strum) These old lakes of warm ice tea offer a familiarity not enough to draw me willingly into this abyss (Fp) these old lakes of warm ice tea offer a familiarity never thought I’d be here I never thought it’d be like this
5.
spiders 02:17
F Am G, G & Am7 You skulk around Trying to be discreet I like spiders but not on my feet Anywhere else in the world or across the street I like spiders as friends I don’t want No I don’t wanna share my body It’s nothing personal I just like my personal space I might be amenable to meet you at a time and place I don’t want you in my bed or in my shoes or in my coffee I don’t want you in the kitchen or the bathroom scoffing at me I don’t want you in my bed or in my shoes or in my coffee I don’t want you in my bed It’s nothing personal I just like my personal space I might be amenable to meet you at a time and place I don’t want you in my bed or in my shoes or in my coffee I don’t want you in the kitchen or the bathroom scoffing at me I don’t want you in my bed or in my shoes Or in my coffee I don’t want you in my bed x3
6.
stars 02:47
Bm G (fingerpicking) shed my old skin not like before stretch out in this new life that I woke up and found myself in I still want more but I have to hide away cause Bm A G Gb (fp) I explode and then compress into a singularity, the cycle flows as it exposes the next purest form of me, I explode and then compress realigning the old mess, you know you’ll find me in the dark cause I’m a star Bm G A Gb (strum) you know, we change and grow some things no longer serve us burst into flames burn it away reevaluate life’s purpose nothing’s the same everything’s changed release the pain all the remains is fresh and new we’ll never be what we once were again Bm G come what may burn it all burn it all away it’s ok burn it all, burn it all away (x2) Bm G (fp) shed my old skin not like before stretch out in this new life that I woke up and found myself in I still want more gonna find a way seize the day take a look around a look around before I burn before I burn before I burn it to the ground to the ground I burn it to the ground Bm G burn it all burn it all away burn it all Bm G (FP) burn it all burn it all away burn it all
7.
Bm A G A (FP) Never wanted much, just simple things I live at the brink; the borderline of bliss and total self-destruction you know, this current’s never slow as it swallows me I know I have to go wherever these waves are gonna take me (strum G A/Am7 Bm /Am7 ) Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh Time to go, let go, let go Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh almost everything works out somehow while I been breakin everything I touch almost everything works out somehow but sometimes it feels like I wrecked too much somehow someway almost everything works out this time I learned what my life is all about so let the choirs sing let every alarm bell ring and ring just let the choirs sing let every alarm bell ring and ring and ring and ring Don’t know how I got here this last time The heart I take is mine I’m ready for whatever these waves wanna take me Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh Time to go, let go, let go Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh almost everything works out somehow while I been breakin everything I touch almost everything works out somehow sometimes it feels like I wrecked too much somehow someway almost everything works out this time I learned what my life is all about so let the choirs sing let every alarm bell ring and ring just let the choirs sing let every alarm bell ring and ring and ring and ring Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh
8.
D A/ F#m G I think there’s still some glass on the floor from a time that I broke before You know I put things back together but they were never quite right so I fixed ‘em up and filled em with gold bring me all your broken all your broken parts any part that’s broken shattered dreams all become works of art bring me all your broken all your broken hearts we’ll fill em with gold Go o o o old oh oh oh oh oh I can love you wherever you are broken glass and trophy scars sometimes we flicker but we still shine in the deepest night sky because we took our hearts and filled them with gold bring me all your broken all your broken parts any part that’s broken shattered dreams all become works of art bring me all your broken all your broken hearts we’ll fill em with gold Go o o o old oh oh oh oh oh You don’t have to find your wings to find your wings to see how you can fly I don’t have to use my eyes to know that you’re a supernova shining in my sky (x2) we don’t have to use our eyes to know that we’re all supernovae shinin in the sky
9.
F, G, Am, and G… blah blah where to go what to do now found my way back home somehow home somehow Find myself with nothing left to give but my love Oh my love (Strum heavy triplets ) Oh my love It’s alright to be in purgatory It’s alright to lose your mind It’s alright to be in purgatory Some say I should look for something better Nothing ever lasts forever but I’ll hold what’s left until it’s gone (x2) (FP) Feels like I’ve been here before another locked door, locked door Feels like I’ve been here before It’s never been a fair trade for my love Oh my love never been a fair trade for my love (Strum) Oh my love It’s alright to be in purgatory It’s alright to lose your mind It’s alright to be in purgatory Some say I should look for something better Nothing ever lasts forever but I’ll hold what’s left until it’s gone (x2)
10.
echoes 02:05
E G C D (Pluck) Probably feels like you told me 100 times like a strand I can’t quite grasp a memory I can’t chase but I can taste it (finger pick) delicious echoes of a dream an echo of a dream my daydreams carry daydreams carry daydreams carry me away (Pluck) or maybe it’s a fantasy that swallowed my reality Highs and lows this ebbs and flows and floats downstream with my daydreams (Strum triplets) You’re an echo of a dream delicious echoes of a dream my daydreams carry daydreams carry daydreams carry me away (Finger pick) Carry me away carry me away my daydreams carry daydreams carry daydreams carry me away (E)I know what I feel (G)but I don’t know what’s real anymore I know what I feel but I don’t know what’s real anymore I know what I feel but I don’t know what’s real I don’t know what’s real But You’re an echo of a dream delicious echoes of a dream my daydreams carry daydreams carry carry me away
11.
heartbeat 03:05
G#m C#m G#m D# Gm Gm D# I think I’d follow you anywhere to see the light in your eyes I think I’d follow you anywhere to hear your heartbeat in every grey sky heartbeat in every grey sky heartbeat to hear your heartbeat I might be crazy I’m feeling fine I might be crazy out of my mind Maybe maybe I’ve lost my mind Maybe maybe Oooooooooohhhhhh ohhhh I think I’d follow you anywhere no reason to wonder why I think I’d follow you anywhere I know it’s reckless but I can’t feel the earth beneath my feet I know it’s reckless but I’m not afraid of anything anymore Ooooooooohhhh ohh No, I know, I didn’t plan on this and it’s it’s oh, it’s so I can’t think straight No, I know exactly what this is and I know it’s pretty reckless but I also know I’d follow you I’d follow you anywhere to see the light in your eyes I know I’d follow you anywhere to hear your heartbeat in every grey sky heartbeat in every grey sky heartbeat to hear your heartbeat I might be crazy I’m feeling fine I might be crazy out of my mind Maybe maybe I’ve lost my mind Maybe maybe Oooooooooohhhhhh ahhh

about

I wrote these songs primarily as self soothing while navigating the parameters of this new phase of my life and documenting my personal evolution as I emerged from a long dark night of the soul.

The lyrics and chord notations are copy/pasted from my notes, exactly the way I see them when I open the songs. <3

credits

released March 19, 2023

All songs written and arranged by Christina Bays.
Produced by Chris Short.
Recorded and mixed by Chris Short in the Labyrinth at The Exchange Recording Complex in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Mastered by Garrett Haines of Treelady Studios.
art by Christina Bays

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about

chariel morningstar Orlando, Florida

I have always been a songwriter, but retired from music for nearly 20 years, to focus on my health and my sons. In 2019, after a life altering brain injury, I picked up the ukulele and never put it down. Music has been crucial in not only my brain injury recovery, but my mental and spiritual well being: It's been a journey of losing everything and finding myself ... more

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